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wishful_realm

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Just an update [04 Nov 2005|03:01pm]
[ mood | Halloween candy ]

Halloween is the best!
I'm kinda mad that i didn't update on halloween like i wanted to, but i forgot. Things got crazy and i've detached my self from all the lesser important things right now. i really need to focus on my grades so to get my ass into college. I have accepted the fact that, if i have to, i will commit socal suicide and break myself away from it all. Just be a Loner that only cares about what really matters. well i havn't done that yet and i am working hard so that i might not have to. so for now i'm just going to fill you all in on what has happened lately.

Halloween:
I wore my black and white stripped sweater to school and all my friends loved it like i knew they would. though, this annoying chick, Kaylee Rich, decided to comment it in 5th hour English. I was sitting in my seat in the back with my knees curled up like usual and she turned around, looked right at me and said, "Are you a jail person for holloween? is that what you are?" I hate her so much. she mocks people just because she gets a good laugh out of it and will do anything to get guys to like her. When she said that the entire class, practically at once, turned around in their chairs and looked at me. My stomach almost hit the floor for i hate it when people stare at me. It makes me nervous so i prefer to stay out of the way of the crowd. I kept calm though and didn't show on my face how uncomfertable i felt. I gave kaylee the 'you're an idiot' look as evilly as possible and didn't say a word becasue thats exactly what she wanted. They continued to stare and Kaylee repeated, "Are you?" Then one of Kaylee's friends, Keith [I personally like Keith. even though he is a prep and can be an ass to people just for laughs, he is pretty nice at times. He and Mitch are the only two Preps i like and i'm nice to], kinda 'stood up for me' as i think of it. He said, "No, I think it is just a pretty sweater"
-Kaylee said, "No, doesn't she look like one of those jail people?"
-Keith said, "No, It's just a pretty sweater. Plus, jail people have vertical stripes." [they actually are horizontal but we will give Keeth a point on that one anyway ^__^]
-Then mitch said, "It's just a sweater Kaylee."
I Smiled as Kaylee turned back aound in her chair in a rage that she had not gotten the outcome she wanted and instead had her only two friends in English completely stick up for me insead of laughing as she wanted them to. I think the reason Keith and Mitch are so nice to me is because im the reason they're not failing grammer and becasue when ever either of them need help i am the first to offer it. English is my thing, see? And i enjoy helping anyone who calls!

After school i ran and found my neighbor/'brother' Thomas and asked him if he wanted to walk home with me. He agreed and after we bribed Andy into comeing with us Thrick-or-Treating, we set out. We walked past the main office, through the doors to the front Foyer, we stopped for a potty break, walked though the lunch room, [we were talking the entire time about the shit that we always share with each other. Life, Issues, and funny storied of our friends' stupididty.] Then we went down the long narrow hallway that was window-less and door-less except for a pair of douple doors at the end. Through the douple doors and out into the sun. though it wasn't that sunny cause of all the clouds. We walked across the practice feild, through the gate, into the culdesack of the trailer park, through a small patch of woods, down a dirt hill, through a vacant lot covered in weeds, and then down our neighborhood street. He left me when we got to his house and then i walked the next 100 feet alone to my house across the street. When i got inside my house i went to my basement and rumaged through all the junk. i pulled together a pretty good looking pirate outfit and called it My Costume.

Andy, Thomas, and Miles came over and we went trick-or-treating. Yes, we are fifteen year old Sophmores that enjoy Trick-Or-Treating still...So what? Once we had a good enough amount of candy we went over to Jake's house cause that is where our friends where gathering. It was fun. Though the tension between Rachel and Jenn was annoying as they continue in this stupid fight of theirs. They won't stop fighting over who is more my friend since i am the only one who has refused to take a side with either of them. Once one of them said something to me, the other had to come over a say MORE to me. It was pathetic. After an hour of this childish nonsense i just ignored them both. They got the hint. Well, then, Most of the guys decided on going streeking.... The immaturaty of 15 year-old boys never ceases. It was raining ice water and they decided this a good idea? Whatever. I only laughed becasue the mom walked outside and saw them all in their boxers. Heehee!

Tuesday:
No school. Went to Rachel's with Miles and Dan. Got B.C. Pizza. Yumm!

Wednesday:
COMPLETELY skipped school. I had fallen asleep late the night before and had forgotten to move my laundry over to the dryer. I woke up the next morning just completely blank and out of it. I was gonna ask my mom to move my laundry over when she came into my room at 5:53 but i just didn't for some reason. My older sister cmae into my room and told me she was leaving at 7:30. i nodded as i was still in my bed curled up and warm. I can get ready for school in 10 minutes and it wasn't even 6:30 yet. I had time to rest. Well, then my sister came into my room again and announced she was leaving at 7:10 instead becasue she wanted Starbucks. It was 7:00! WTF! i still wanted to rest more. Then i decided i didn't care and just stayed in my bed. She came into my room again 5 minutes later and ripped my blakets off of me. Now i was cold and pissed. I got up, grabbed my blanket from the other side of the room and went back to my bed. She came back into my room 3 minutes later and yelled, "I'M LEAVING WITHOUT YOU AMANDA!" "FINE!" i yelled back as she slammed my door. The house went silent as her car drove away. I rolled on my back and glanced over at my alarm clock. 7:13 the red letters said. I stared at my speckled ceiling. i had two choices: 1)Get off my ass, get dress and take the 10 minute walk to school and make it there on time. Or 2)Roll over and fall back asleep. ...I chose number 2. Besides, i was only a half day and i hadn't done all my homework so i skipped out and avoided yelling teachers. I two really fun dreams! can't really remeber the first one but the second one was awsome and was base on the movie War Of The Worlds. I woke up to my sister yelling, "YOU DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL!!!!" My eyes opened half way and i saw her standing above me. "huh?" i mumbled. She said, "You better call mom! Atleast school is still going so if she calls now it won't be marked as a unexcused absent!" [My sister gets out of school before every one else becasue she is in her senior year and she has some college class she goes to. Alyssa yells alot, but she only does it beasue she cares. As you can see from what i just wrote.] She stormed from the room and i went back to sleep. I called my mom a half an hour later and went through the whole ruteen of calling her work. ...*dials number*
'ring ring' "Hi! this is butterworth filmroom. How may i help you?"
"Uh...hi, is Judy there?"
"Yes, hold on one second please."
"...Yeah..." *elevador music plays*
"Hi! Butterworth filmroom! This is Judy!"
"Um...Hi, mom."
"AMANDA! I am so mad at you!"
"I know."
"Why didn't you go to school!"
"Just didn't feel like it, i guess."
She sighed and lectured me and then ended with a "You're grounded for the rest of the week."

Thursday:
It was another half day of school that i attended. Didn't feel like dealing with anyone. so i didn't.

Friday (today):
Another half day. Walked home from school so i could think and relax a little in private. I got home and didn't know what to do so i have been sitting on the computer since 11:00 am. I downloaded a bunch of music, went to Xangas and Livejournals. Me and my little sister are the only ones home currently becasue my parents are up north at Mount. Pleasent so they could gamble with my older sister, who is now 18. They wont be home for a while and there is a football game tonight. Im not going. i hate those stupid school events. So while my family is gone at the game i will be taking advantage of my empty home and solitude.

I think i am going to work on my story more while everyone is gone tonight. I can think better whilst they're not around.

^_^

-Amanda Lynn

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Let Up [26 Oct 2005|04:59pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Ok things are starting to ease...finally. Though i missed school today and that is probably why i feel so relaxed. i slept in till 12...yup.

I can't wait untill Rancklechick and His three legged cat comes out in march! It is all my favorite kinds of stories all but into one by the wonderful author Rikki Simons and the beautiful illistrator Tavisha.


Sigh.


I'm bored.







-Amanda Lynn

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The Procrastinator [18 Oct 2005|07:11pm]
[ mood | Depressed & Stress ]

...I thought this year was going pretty easy. Everyone told me that Sophomore year was hard...but the first few months of school have been real easy so i thought they were just trying to scare me, as always. Well... First marking period is ending and i am carrying more on my back than i have ever before. I have a huge project due monday that is worth 10% of my grade, i have Layouts due for yearbook on friday that i'm not even close to being done with AND some kid took the camera that had all my pictures on it and he hasn't returned it yet, I have to sell five Ads to Five different business by next week, and i have a personal narrative due thursday that i am having a bitch of a time trying to revise, Plus i have to balance German homework so my parents will lay off my back about my Failing grade and get all my other homework in so i don't start failing the rest of my classes. OH! AND!!! fucking homecoming is saturday! Great! i don't even want to go...but i have to. Now since i am stressed i have fallen deeper into this depression that won't stop ripping me apart. So now i am in a battle with deadlines while fighting harder in my war with depression. It's overwhelming. I'm so stressed that i am just crying myself to sleep and moping more at school. My back pains are growing... and, along with my anxious mind, won't let me fall asleep until 2 or 3 in the morning, so now i'm just tired all the time. Also I'm so stressed that i have stopped eating and i fell like i'm gonna puke any minute. During third hour today i even started to shake and i could barely hold my pencil.
I had to tell Miles that we can't hang out for a while when i really miss him. he told me today after school, as i walked with him to his bus, that he missed me...i just looked at him, did a small smile and said "I know. I'm trying." I feel really bad that i am neglecting him like this but i really can't do it right now. i hope he understands. ...I know he does! he is literally the best person i have ever met in my fifteen years of life. He will be waiting for me at the end of all of this.

This is what i get for being who i am...why does everyone else around me have it so easy? My sisters barely try and they get straight A's Why am i the cursed one? ...oh well, I'll get through this some how, but i know that i have to do this on my own. I have to see if i can.

Amanda Lynn

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